Trap Nation I Don t Wanna See You Again
Gozer: [later on Ray orders her to re-locate] Are you a God?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nonchalantly nods yes]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: No.
Gozer: Then... Dice!
[Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people beneath scream]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, yous say "YES"!
Dr. Peter Venkman: All right! This chick is TOAST!
[Egon is running tests on Louis, who has been possessed past Vinz Clortho and is now the Keymaster]
Dr. Egon Spengler: Vinz, you said before yous were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Louis: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a big and moving Torg! Then, during the 3rd reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new class for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to exist roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I tin tell yous!
Janine Melnitz: Practice you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic motility, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there'southward a steady paycheck in information technology, I'll believe anything y'all say.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us coin and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college! You don't know what it'due south like out in that location! I've WORKED in the private sector. They look *results*.
Dr. Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft'south okay! He's a sailor, he'southward in New York; we become this guy laid, nosotros won't have any trouble!
Dana Barrett: [every bit The Gatekeeper] I want you inside me.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [referring to her radical alter in personality] Go ahead! No, I tin can't. It sounds like yous've got at least ii or three people in in that location already.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical volume stacking. Only like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no HUMAN Beingness would stack books similar this.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What I'd really similar to exercise is talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter.
Dana Barrett: At that place is no Dana, there is only Zuul.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, Zuulie, you nut, now c'monday. Just relax, c'mon. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, Dana. Can I talk to Dana?
Dana Barrett: [in an inhuman demonic vocalism] At that place is no Dana, merely Zuul!
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a lovely singing vocalisation you must have.
[Persuading the mayor to permit them end a supernatural upheaval]
Dr. Peter Venkman: If I'thou wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail - peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy information technology! But if I'm *right*, and we *can* stop this thing... Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.
Winston Zeddemore: I'yard Winston Zeddmore, Your Laurels. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, merely these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll plough y'all white.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the Urban center, Canton and Land of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activeness and return forthwith to your identify of origin or to the nearest user-friendly parallel dimension.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] That oughta practice information technology. Thanks very much, Ray.
Janine Melnitz: You're very handy, I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, besides.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.
Janine Melnitz: Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm as well intellectual just I remember it's a fabulous style to spend your spare time. I besides play raquetball. Exercise you have whatever hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, nosotros could opposite the particle flow through the gate.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [hesitates] Nosotros'll cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: 'Scuse me Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cross the streams...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're gonna endanger us, yous're gonna endanger our client - the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a domestic dog...
Dr. Egon Spengler: Non necessarily. At that place'southward definitely a VERY SLIM take a chance we'll survive.
[pause while they consider this]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [slaps Ray] I honey this program! I'grand excited to be a function of it! LET'S Practise IT!
Winston Zeddemore: [all get up to go ready] This job is definitely not worth $11,500 a year.
Louis: [Louis, as the possessed Keymaster Vinz Clortho, runs out of Central Park, scaring a married couple] I am the Keymaster! The Destructor is coming. Gozer the Traveler, the Destroyer.
[Louis pants and sniffs, and then notices a equus caballus railroad vehicle; equus caballus neighs]
Louis: Gatekeeper.
[Walk over towards the equus caballus]
Louis: I am Vinz, Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer. Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper?
Coachman: Hey, he pulls the wagon, I made the deals. You want a ride?
[the possessed Louis growls at the coachman with his red-glowing eyes]
Louis: [to the horse] Expect for the sign. So our prisoners will be released.
[Runs amok, scaring bystanders; yelling]
Louis: Y'all will perish in flame, you and all your kind! Gatekeeper!
Coachman: What an asshole.
Winston Zeddemore: Hey Ray. Do you believe in God?
Dr Ray Stantz: Never met him.
Winston Zeddemore: Yeah, well, I practise. And I love Jesus's way, you lot know.
Dr Ray Stantz: The unabridged roof cap is made out of a magnesium-tungsten alloy...
Winston Zeddemore: What are you then involved with over at that place?
Dr Ray Stantz: These are the blueprints for structural ironwork of Dana Barret's apartment building, and they are very, very strange.
Winston Zeddemore: Hey Ray. Do you remember something in the bible most the last days when the expressionless would rise from the grave?
Dr Ray Stantz: I remember Revelations 6:12...?And I looked, and he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great convulsion. And the sun became every bit black as sack fabric, and the moon became as blood."
Winston Zeddemore: "And the seas boiled and the skies fell."
Dr Ray Stantz: Sentence day.
Winston Zeddemore: Sentence twenty-four hours.
Dr Ray Stantz: Every ancient religion has its own myth about the finish of the world.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that possibly the reason we've been so decorated lately is 'crusade the dead Have been rising from the grave?
Dr Ray Stantz: [Pause] How 'bout a piddling music?
Winston Zeddemore: Yeah.
[clearing away tables in the dining room to make room for the ghost trap]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I've gotta get this in the clear...!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Wait, expect, wait! I've e'er wanted to exercise this...
[He yanks a tablecloth off of a table, overturning and shattering everything except the centerpiece in the heart]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [triumphantly] And the flowers are nonetheless continuing!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: I tried to recall of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my babyhood. Something that could never ever peradventure destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Overnice thinkin', Ray.
[Dana Barrett has just transformed into a demon]
Dr. Peter Venkman: OK... so... she's a dog...
[business is terrible at Ghostbusters]
Janine Melnitz: [answers the telephone] Hello, Ghostbusters... Yep, of course they're serious... Y'all do?... Y'all have?... No kidding! Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you!
[hangs upward]
Janine Melnitz: WE GOT I!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, what do you lot think?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [looking upward and blinding Peter with his headlamp] She'due south telling the truth. At to the lowest degree, she thinks she is.
Dana Barrett: Well, of course I'1000 telling the truth! Who would brand up a story like that?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [condign suave] Some are people who only want attention. Others, but nutballs who come in off the street.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know what information technology could be? Past-life experience intruding on nowadays time.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Could be race memory stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact either.
Dana Barrett: I'thousand distressing, I don't believe in any of those things.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. I don't either.
[Dana has described seeing the demon Zuul in her refrigerator]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally y'all don't see that kind of beliefs in a major appliance.
Walter Peck: Hold it! I desire this human arrested! Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act! And this explosion is a direct event of it!
Dr. Egon Spengler: YOUR MOTHER!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole programme, huh, "get her." Very scientific.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, someone with your qualifications would accept no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.
[phone rings]
Dr. Peter Venkman: You lot gonna answer that?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, technology, or physics, and merely tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Yous never studied.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let me tell you something most myself. I come up home from work to my place and all I accept is my work. There's nothing else in my life!
Dana Barrett: Dr. Venkman...
Dr. Peter Venkman: I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same trouble I take.
Dana Barrett: Aye. Nosotros both take the same problem. You!
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'one thousand gonna go for broke. I am madly in beloved with you.
Dana Barrett: I don't believe this. Will you please go out?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to an invisible audience] So she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek, and she probably wasn't the beginning.
Dana Barrett: You lot are so odd.
Woman at Party: [coming up to Louis during political party] Do you lot have whatsoever Excedrin or actress-strength Tylenol?
Louis: [opening cabinet] Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I tin can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name make. That makes good fiscal sense, good advice...
[takes platter back into living room]
Louis: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only price me $14.12 later on tax, though.
[walks up to a hapless invitee, speaking confidentially]
Louis: I'm givin' this whole thing as a promotional expense, that'due south why I invited clients instead of friends. You lot havin' a good time, Mark?
[heads across the room, greeting other guests]
Louis: How you doing? Why don't you have some of the brie, it's at room temperature!
[to the Tall Adult female]
Louis: You lot think it's too warm in here for the brie?
Tall Woman at Political party: [standing] Louis, I'thou going home.
Louis: Aw, don't go out yet. Well, listen, mayhap if nosotros commencement dancing other people volition join in!
Tall Woman at Political party: [pauses] Okay!
[Louis and the Tall Woman brainstorm disco dancing. Suddenly the doorbell rings]
Louis: Oh, don't move, I but gotta become the door.
[opens door, greeting guests]
Louis: Ted! Annette! I'grand glad yous could come, how you lot doin', give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a pocket-sized rug cleaning business in receivership; Annette's drawing a bacon from a deferred bonus from 2 years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent.
[throws the guests' coats in the closet, oblivious that they hit the demon Vinz Clortho hiding there]
Louis: So they're okay! So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?
[Vinz Clortho growls from inside the bedroom]
Louis: [grin] Okay, who brought the canis familiaris?
[Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his confront. Venkman knocks again]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah. Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.
[equally Dana puts strings on her cello, Ray is existence interviewed by Joe Frankin on television receiver]
Joe Franklin: Equally they say in T.5., I'one thousand sure there'southward one big question on everybody's mind, and I imagine you are the man to reply that. How is Elvis, and have y'all seen him lately?
[Dana is possessed]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I brand it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
[Dana starts passionately making out with him, moaning audibly]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule...
[Louis has been possessed by Vinz Clortho a.g.a. The Keymaster]
Janine Melnitz: Do you desire some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
Louis: [to Egon] Do I?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some.
Louis: [to Janine] Yes, take some.
Walter Peck: I'm Walter Peck, from the Environmental Protection?
[Venkman shakes easily with Peck and however has ectoplasm on his hands]
Walter Peck: Agency, the third commune.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Peck is wiping the ectoplasm on his jacket] Great, how's it going downward there?
Walter Peck: Are you Peter Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, I'1000 *Doc* Venkman!
Walter Peck: Exactly what are you a doc of, Mr. Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, I take a PhD in parapsychology and psychology.
Walter Peck: And at present, you catch ghosts?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, you could say that.
Walter Peck: And how many ghosts accept you caught, Mr. Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'1000 not at freedom to say.
Walter Peck: And where do you lot put these ghosts, once y'all take hold of them?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Into a storage facility.
Walter Peck: And would this storage facility be located on these premises?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes.
Walter Peck: And may I see this storage facility?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No.
Walter Peck: And why not, Mr. Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Because you did non use the magic word.
Walter Peck: What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: [looking surprised] Please!
Walter Peck: May I *please* see the storage facility, Mr. Venkman?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why exercise y'all want to encounter the storage facility?
Walter Peck: Because I'thousand curious. I wanna know more nearly what yous do hither! Bluntly, I've heard alot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess any possibility of unsafe and perchance chancy waste chemicals in your basement.
[Peck is angered]
Walter Peck: Now you either *bear witness me* what is downwards there, or I come back with a court social club.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Venkman snaps dorsum] You go get a court order, and I'll sue your funny donkey for wrongful prosecution.
Walter Peck: You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman.
Hotel Managing director: [snaps his finger] Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open NOW!
[points at the guy]
Hotel Director: Donald, stand over there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [afterwards capturing Slimer] We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.
Hotel Manager: Did yous run across it? What is it?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [belongings ghost trap like a rat by the tail] We got it.
Hotel Managing director: What is it? Will there be whatever more of them?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Sir, what y'all had there is what nosotros refer to as a focused, non-terminal, repeating phantasm or a class-5 total-roaming vapor. A existent nasty one, too.
Dr. Peter Venkman: And now...
[Peter clears his throat]
Dr. Peter Venkman: ... permit's talk seriously. Now, for the entrapment, we're gonna have to enquire you lot...
[Egon holds upwardly four fingers]
Dr. Peter Venkman: ... for 4 large ones, Iv thousand dollars for that. But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast...
[Egon holds up one finger]
Dr. Peter Venkman: ... and that's only gonna come to g dollars, fortunately.
Hotel Manager: Five g dollars? I had no thought it'd be so much. I won't pay it.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, that's all right. We can merely put it right back in there. Give thanks you.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Nosotros certainly tin can, Dr. Venkman.
[Ray turns back toward the ballroom]
Hotel Manager: [stopping Ray] No, no, NO! All right. Anything.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [handing the manager a check] Thanks so much.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cheers. Hope nosotros can aid you once again.
[every bit he, Peter and Egon get out the hotel, Ray calls out to the witnesses]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Coming through! One course-five full-roaming vapor. Motion 'em out.
[evaluating a site for their concern]
Dr. Peter Venkman: What exercise yous think, Egon?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metallic fatigue in all the load-begetting members, the wiring is substandard, it'southward completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [shouting from the elevation of a firefighter's pole upstairs] Hey! Does this pole still work?
[slides downwards]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wow. This place is keen! When can nosotros move in? You gotta effort this pole. I'm gonna go my stuff. Hey! We should stay hither, this night. Sleep here. Yous know, to try it out.
[Venkman looks at Spengler. Spengler slowly shakes his caput. Venkman turns to the real estate agent]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think we'll take it.
[Janine opens the front door and sees a policeman]
Janine Melnitz: Dropping off or picking up?
Winston Zeddemore: Hey, look a minute. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hold information technology! Now, are nosotros actually gonna become before a federal judge, and tell him that some moldy Babylonian god is going to drib in on Central Park West, and get-go tearing up the city?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sumerian, not Babylonian.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Aye. Big difference.
Winston Zeddemore: No criminal offense, guys, but I've gotta become my own lawyer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [surrounded by excited reporters during the montate sequence, which shows the Ghostbusters as a sudden popular culture craze] Solar day a day, seven days a week, no job is also large, no fee is too large!
[a giant marshmallow man crashes through the streets of New York]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, at that place's something you don't run across every mean solar day.
[in forepart of the library ghost, their get-go ghost sighting]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So... what do we do?
[Egon and Ray stare at each other in silence. Peter grabs Ray's ear]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Would y'all come up over here, please? That's it, c'mere Francine. What do we practice?
[Egon pulls out a calculator and starts punching in numbers. Peter slaps the machine out of Egon'south hand]
Dr. Peter Venkman: STOP THAT!
[while trying to catch the Slimer, the Ghostbusters cause a lot of impairment to the hotel with their energy streams]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nice shootin', Tex!
Dr. Peter Venkman: All correct, I'm gonna turn over the next carte du jour. Concentrate... I want yous to tell me what you think it is.
[Holds up the bill of fare]
Male Student: Uh, square.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Skilful gauge, but wrong.
[Turns over the carte du jour and zaps the male person student]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the female person student] Okay,
[Holds up another card]
Dr. Peter Venkman: what is this?
Female Student: Is it a star?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Information technology "is" a star,. very good.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the male person student, and holding up another card] Concentrate. Tell me what this is.
Male Educatee: Circle.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Turns over the card] Ooohhh, Shut. Only nearly definately wrong.
[Zaps the male student once more]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the female student] Clear your head.
[Holds upwards another bill of fare]
Dr. Peter Venkman: what is it?
Female Student: A effigy viii.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's 5 for 5, you can't see these tin can you?
Female Student: No.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're non cheating me, are you lot?
Female Student: No. I swear, they're just coming to me.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the male student] Nervous?
Male Pupil: [Really is nervous] Yes, I don't similar this.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Holds up another menu] Nosotros've just got 75 more to go, c'monday what this i.
Male person Student: [the card has three wavy lines] It'southward, a couple of wavy lines.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Suddenly puts bill of fare down] Pitiful, this isn't your lucky mean solar day.
Male person Educatee: Aye, I...
[Peter's hand slowly reaches for the zapping trigger]
Male Student: I uh, uh, I uh, I uh.
[Zap]
Male person Student: [Annoyed] I'm getting a little tired of this.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Y'all volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, are nosotros?
Male person Educatee: Yep, merely I didn't know you we're gonna exist giving me electric shocks. What are trying to show here, anyway.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'grand studying the effect on negative reinforcement on ESP power.
Male Student: [Aggravated] Issue? I'll tell you the effect is, it's pissing me off!
Janine Melnitz: I've seen TV, I know you can't come up in here without a warrant or writ or something!
Walter Peck: [belongings up papers] Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of bounds and chattels, ban on utilise of public utilities for unauthorized waste handlers, and a federal entry and inspection club.
[pushes past her]
[surveying a wrecked flat building corridor having climbed over thirty flights of stairs with his proton pack]
Dr. Egon Spengler: [casually] Fine art Deco, very overnice.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, this is smashing. If the ionization-rate is abiding for all ectoplasmic entities, nosotros can actually bust some heads... in a spiritual sense, of course.
[the Ghostbusters HQ blows up]
Louis: [possessed by Vinz Clortho a.thou.a. The Keymaster] This is it! This is the sign!
Janine Melnitz: Yeah, it's a sign, all correct. "Going out of business."
[Venkman arrives at 55 Central Park W, a few minutes after Louis was chased out past the demon Vinz Clortho]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to a policeman] What happened?
Policeman at Apartment: Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [the Ghostbusters are tiring equally they climb twenty-two flights of stairs in their proton packs] Where are we?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [gasps] Looks like we're in the teens... somewhere.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, when we get to twenty, tell me... I'm gonna throw up.
[Inspecting Dana's fridge for paranormal activeness]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, my *God*. Look at all the junk food!
Dana Barrett: No, goddammit. Look, this wasn't...
Dr. Peter Venkman: You really eat this stuff?
Dana Barrett: Await, this wasn't hither! There was *nix* here! There was a space and in that location was a building or something with flames coming out of information technology, and at that place were creatures writhing around, and they were growling and snarling. And there were flames, and I heard a vocalization say "Zuul"! It was right here.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm pitiful, I'1000 just not getting whatsoever readings.
Dana Barrett: Well, are y'all sure you're using that affair correctly?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, I... I call up then, only I'k sure there are no animals in there.
Dana Barrett: Well that's great. Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [smiles] I don't call up you're crazy.
Dana Barrett: [sarcastically] Oh, proficient, that makes me feel so much better.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this corruption from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.
Dr. Egon Spengler: [about the storage facility] I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there, and all my contempo data points to something large on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean "big"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well...
[Egon takes a Twinkie]
Dr. Egon Spengler: ...permit's say this Twinkie represents the normal corporeality of psychokinetic free energy in the New York area. Co-ordinate to this morning'southward sample, it would exist a twinkie... 35 anxiety long and weighing approximately 600 pounds.
[Ray coughs, in disbelief]
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We could on the verge of a fourfold cross-reap. A P.Grand.E. surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: This is a major disgrace - forget MIT or Stanford, now. They wouldn't bear on usa with ten-meter cattle prod.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You lot're e'er concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You lot know how much a patent clerk earns?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave usa money and facilities - we didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college: you lot don't know what information technology's like out at that place. I've worked in the individual sector... they expect results.
Dr. Peter Venkman: For whatsoever reasons, Ray - call it fate, call information technology luck, call it karma... I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: For what purpose?
Dr. Peter Venkman: To get into business for ourselves.
[offers Ray a potable, which he reluctantly accepts]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: This ecto containment organisation that Spengler and I have in mind is gonna require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we gonna go the money?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't know. I *don't* know.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey, Dean Yeager! Are you moving us to a better part on campus?
Dean Yeager: No, yous're being moved off campus. The Board of Regents has decided to terminate your grant. Yous are to vacate these premises immediately.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: What?
Dr. Peter Venkman: This is preposterous. I demand an explanation.
Dean Yeager: Fine. This academy will no longer go on any funding of any kind of your group'south activities.
Dr. Peter Venkman: But the kids love us!
Dean Yeager: Doctor... Venkman. We believe that the purpose of science is to serve flesh. You, withal, seem to regard scientific discipline as some kind of contrivance... or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of pop tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable! Yous are a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman!
Dr. Peter Venkman: I see.
Dean Yeager: And you lot accept no identify in this department, or this university.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the library ghost, every bit Spengler analyzes her with the P.Yard.Due east. Meter and Raymond takes photos] Hi! I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally.
Library Ghost: Ssshh!
[returns to her reading]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [dejected; motions the others to motion backside a bookcase] Alright, okay. The usual stuff isn't working.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Okay, I accept a programme. I know exactly what to practise.
[they 'stealthily' sally from behind the bookcase]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [whispering] Now, stay close. Stay close. I know; do exactly as I say. Get prepare! Set?
[excitedly]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: GET HER!
[the ghost transforms horrifically and snarls aggressively. The trio run away screaming, half in shock, half in amazement]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [hands Egon a petri dish filled with ectoplasmic residue] Egon, your mucus.
[Louis is being chased by the demon Vinz Clortho]
Louis: [frightened] I'm going bring this up with the Tenants' Association. You're non supposed to have pets in the edifice.
Male Student: [after the beautiful female person educatee has guessed 5 out of 5 cards correct while he has "none"; actually he has one] What are you trying to testify here, anyway?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'thousand studying the effects of negative reinforcement on ESP ability
Male Pupil: The effect? I'll tell yous what the result is, information technology's pissing me off!
Louis: Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed!
[Dana has been possessed past the demon Zuul]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think we can get her a invitee shot on "Wild Kingdom." I just whacked her up with almost 300 cc'south of Thorazaine... she's gonna accept a piffling nap at present.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [looking at the temporary sign on Ghostbusters HQ while a worker is hanging it up] You don't remember it's too subtle, Marty, you don't think people are going to drive downward and not see the sign?
[hears a siren approaching and an old, greyness station wagon pulls up in the driveway]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Whoa! Whoa! Yous can't park correct here!
[looks and sees Stantz in the driver's seat]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [gets out] Everybody can relax, I found the car. Needs some suspension work and shocks. Brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear-end.
Dr. Peter Venkman: How much?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Only $4,800.
[Venkman looks shocked]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Besides new rings, mufflers, a little wiring.
Archbishop: Lenny, offically the church won't take any postion with the religious implications of these phenomenons. Personally Lenny, I think it's a sign from God, but don't quote me on that.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I call up that'due south a smart motion, Mike.
Dana Barrett: [gets off the elevator and Louis comes out of his apartment]
Louis: Oh, Dana, information technology's you!
Dana Barrett: Oh hi. Aye Louis, it's me.
Louis: I thought it was the drugstore.
Dana Barrett: Oh, are you sick?
Louis: Oh! No, no, I'1000 fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it dorsum at high speed on my machine so information technology but took ten minutes. I got a great workout.
Dana Barrett: Good...
Louis: You wanna come up in for a mineral water or something?
Dana Barrett: Oh, I'd really similar to, Louis, but I take to go rehearsal now. Excuse me.
Louis: No sweat, I'll take a rain bank check on that. I always take enough of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But yous already know that.
Dana Barrett: [dryly] Yep, I know that...
Louis: Listen, that reminds me, I'yard having a big party for all my clients, my 4th anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax render, which you shouldn't do, I'd similar you to end by, being that you're my neighbour and all.
Dana Barrett: [interrupting] Well cheers, Louis, I'll actually endeavor to stop by.
Louis: Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your Television on so loud when you go out. The pitter-patter downward the hall phoned the manager.
Dana Barrett: That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left information technology on.
[unlocks her door]
Louis: [droning on] Well yep, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so yous know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud besides then anybody would remember all our TVs had something incorrect with them.
Dana Barrett: [abruptly closing her door] Bye, Louis.
Louis: [alone again] Okay, so I'll see you lot later on, huh? I'll give you a call! I'm going to get have a shower.
[tries to go back into his apartment but he'due south locked himself out]
Dean Yeager: Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable. You are a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Walter Peck gets kicked out of the Mayor'south Office] Bye! I'm gonna get him a nice fruit basket.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Walter Peck storms out of room] I'm gonna miss him.
[Egon is running tests on Louis who has been possessed past Vince Clortho a.one thousand.a. The Keymaster]
Janine Melnitz: [entering with Peck, Police Sergeant and Con Ed Human] Egon, I tried to finish them. They say they have a warrant.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Excuse me, this is private holding.
Walter Peck: Shut this off; shut these all off.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm alarm you. Turning off these machines would be extremely chancy.
Walter Peck: No, I'll tell *you* what's hazardous. Y'all're facing Federal prosecution for most a half dozen ecology violations. Now either you close off these machines, or we'll close them off for you.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Attempt to sympathize, this a high voltage laser containment organization. Simply turning it off would exist like dropping a bomb on the city.
Walter Peck: Don't patronize me, I'chiliad not grotesquely stupid, like the people you lot've bilked!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [arriving, to the officer] At ease officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I'thousand a partner in this facility and I'g going to cooperate in any mode that I can.
Walter Peck: Forget it, Venkman. You had your risk to cooperate, merely you though information technology would be more fun to insult me. Well, now it's my turn, wiseass.
Dr. Egon Spengler: He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Peck] You shut that thing downwardly, and *we* are not going to be held responsible for whatever happens.
Walter Peck: Oh yes yous will, I'll make sure you volition.
Dr. Peter Venkman: No, nosotros won't be.
Walter Peck: [to the electrician] Close it off.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the electrician] Don't shut information technology off. I'm alarm ya.
Con Edison Man: I, I never seen anything like this earlier. I'm not sure...
Walter Peck: [interrupting] I'yard not interested in your opinion, but close it off.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [gets in electrician's way] My friend, don't be a wiggle.
Police Sergeant: [gets in Peter'due south mode] Pace bated.
Walter Peck: If he does that again, you tin can shoot him.
Constabulary Sergeant: Yous practice *your* job, pencilneck. Don't tell me how to do mine.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Thank you, officer.
Walter Peck: [aggravatingly shouting] Shut information technology off!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Every aboriginal religion has its own myth about the stop of the earth.
Winston Zeddemore: Myth? Ray, has information technology ever occurred to you that maybe the reason nosotros've been so busy lately is because the expressionless HAVE been rising from the grave?
[long interruption]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Turns on radio] How 'bout a fiddling music?
[in jail, the Ghostbusters study the blueprints of Dana'southward flat building]
Dr. Egon Spengler: The construction of this roof cap is exactly similar the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Cold-riveted girders with cores of pure selenium.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to a cellmate looking over his shoulder blueprints] Everybody getting this then far?
[to Ray]
Dr. Peter Venkman: So what? I guess they but don't brand them like they used to.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [impatiently slaps Peter on the forehead] No! Nobody *ever* fabricated them similar this! I hateful, the architect was either a certified genius, or an authentic wacko!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray... for a moment, pretend that I don't know annihilation virtually metallurgy, engineering or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You never studied. The whole building is a huge, superconductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of spook central.
Dr. Peter Venkman: She's non my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she'south a client and sleeps above her covers. *Four feet* above her covers. She barks, she drools, she claws...
Dr. Egon Spengler: It's non the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door. The architect'due south name was Ivo Shandor. I constitute it in Tobin'south Spirit Guide. He was besides a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And so, in 1920, he started a hugger-mugger society...
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let me estimate: Gozer worshipers.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Correct.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to Ray] No studying.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Afterwards the First Earth War, Shandor decided that club was too sick to survive.
[He pauses, glancing uneasily at the remainder of the holding cell crowd]
Dr. Egon Spengler: And he wasn't alone. He had shut to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring well-nigh the cease of the world. And now it looks like it may really happen.
[Silence]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [spins around to face some other of the inmates, and starts singing] Then be proficient, for goodness sake! Whoa... somebody'south coming!
Dr. Peter Venkman: As a friend, I have to tell ya y'all've finally gone around the bend on this ghost business. Yous guys take been running your ass off, meetin' and greetin' every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What take you seen?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Of grade you forget, Peter. I was present at an undersea, unexplained mass sponge migration.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, the sponges migrated about a pes-and-a-half.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'll accept Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out.
[Dana Barrett looks upwardly confused]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'll go bank check out Miss Barrett'due south flat. OK?
[Ray and Peter have been fired]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford at present. They wouldn't touch us with a 10-meter cattle prod.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're always so concerned almost your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working every bit a patent clerk!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Practise yous know how much a patent clerk earns?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [training Winston] This is where nosotros put all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Quite simple actually. Load a trap here, open, unlock the organisation. Insert the trap, release, shut, lock the system. Set your entry grid, neutralize your field and... the lite is green, the trap is clean! The ghost is incarcerated hither in our custom-fabricated storage facility.
Dr. Peter Venkman: oh, wait, wait, i've always wanted to exercise this! and...
[he yanks the tablecloth off of one of the tables, upsetting and breaking everything except a vase of flowers on the heart of the tabular array]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [shouting while offscreen] the flowers are still standing!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian, good evening. As a duly designated representative of the city, county, and state of New York, I order you to terminate whatever and all supernatural action and render forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [after capturing Slimer] We came, we saw, we've kick its ass.
Hotel Manager: You've seen it? What was information technology?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We've got it.
[Holds upwards the smoking ghost trap]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Sir, what we have here is what we telephone call a not-repeating phantasm, or a class-5 free roaming vapor, real nasty one too.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Okay.
[Clears throat]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's talk serious, for the entrapment, nosotros're gonna ask you lot for 4 big ones $4,000 for that, only nosotros are having a special this week on proton charging, and storage of the beast, so we are gonna enquire for $1,000 fortunate.
Hotel Managing director: $5,000 I had no idea it would be and so much, I won't pay information technology.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, that's okay we tin can just put it correct back in there.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We nigh certainly can, Dr. Venkman
Hotel Managing director: [Stops Ray] No, no, NO! Annihilation.
[Peter hands the manager a check]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Thank you. We hope that we can help you once more.
Dr Ray Stantz: [afterward Ray thinks of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and it appears, stomping through New York City] I tried to call up of the near harmless affair. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Nice thinking, Ray.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [telling Winston, who is new to the team on how to identify ghosts in the storage facility] This is where we store all the vapors and entities and slimers that nosotros trap. Very simple, really. A loaded trap here... open, unlock the system... insert the trap... release... shut, lock the system. Set your entry grid... neutronize your field... and...
[Ray pulls a lever and the green low-cal comes on]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: ...when the light is green, the trap is make clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in our custom-made storage facility.
Larry King: Hi, this is Larry King. The telephone-in topic Today: "Ghosts and Ghostbusting." The controversy builds, more sightings are reported, some maintain that these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all.
Casey Kasem: Still making headlines all beyond the state, the Ghostbusters are at it again. This time, at the stylish dance club, "The Rose." The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance. This is Casey Kasem. Now, on with the countdown.
Louis: [possessed past Vinz Clortho] I am The Keymaster!
Dana Barrett: [possessed by Zuul] I am The Gatekeeper!
Louis: [cornered by the the demon Vinz Clortho] Nice doggy. Beautiful little pooch. Peradventure I've got a Milk-Bone.
[the Victorian Lady Ghost is floating in mid-air, reading a book]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [excitedly] A total torso apparition, and it'due south real.
Jail Guard: Okay, Ghostbusters. The mayor wants to see y'all guys. The whole island's going crazy. Let'due south go.
[unlocks jail cell door]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [to the other inmates] I gotta split. The mayor wants to rap with me well-nigh some things.
[alternating wording from cable TV version]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Your accolade, our system was working simply fine until the ability grid was turned off by wally wick here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this truthful?
Dr. Peter Venkman: It's true, your honour. The human being is some kind of rodent, I don't know which.
[Dana is at domicile doing exercises as she watches the news on television receiver]
Roger Grimsby: Good morning, I'grand Roger Grimsby. Today, the unabridged Eastern Seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Alleged ghost sightings and related supernatural occurances have been reported across the entire Tri-Land area.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked working for the university! They gave us coin and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything. You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there! I've worked in the individual sector... they expect results!
[first lines]
Dr. Peter Venkman: All correct, I'm gonna plow over the next carte du jour. Concentrate... I want you to tell me what y'all think it is.
Janine Melnitz: [on the phone] Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs?
TV Reporter: [reporting on the Ghostbusters] Well, everybody's heard ghost stories around the bivouac. Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns almost a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up! But now, as if some unforeseen authorization...
Dr. Egon Spengler: Boy, it's getting crowded in there and my analysis points to something large on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What practise y'all hateful "big"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: [Property a Twinkie] Let's say this Twinkie represents all of the Psychokinetic Free energy in the New York area. Co-ordinate to this morning'south sample, information technology'll be a Twinkie...... 35 feet long and weighing approximately 600 lbs.
Winston Zeddemore: [Ray coughs in disbelief] That'south a big Twinkie.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We can be on the verge of a iv-fold cross rip. A PKE surge of incredible, fifty-fifty dangerous proportions.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Coming in] We just got a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How's the grid holdin' up?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Information technology's not good.
Winston Zeddemore: [to Egon] Tell him most the Twinkie.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What nearly the Twinkie?
[the Ghostbusters arrive at the Sedgewick Hotel in Ecto-1, fully decked out in uniform and gear]
Dr. Peter Venkman: [entering the main lobby] HEY, Everyone SEEN A GHOST?
[a pretty lady goes by. They all stare appreciatively. The Hotel Manager comes running upward behind them]
Hotel Manager: Thanks for coming then quickly!
Dr. Peter Venkman: [startled] JESUS!
Hotel Manager: The guests are starting to enquire questions and I'1000 running out of excuses.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Has it happened before?
Hotel Manager: Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor; the disturbances, I hateful. But it's been quiet for years! Upwardly until two weeks ago. It was never, ever this bad, though!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Did you lot ever report it to anyone?
Hotel Director: Heavens, no!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, no. You kidding?
Hotel Director: The owners don't even like u.s. to talk well-nigh it. I hope we can take intendance of this. Quietly! This evening!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Yep sir, don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time!
Walter Peck: [subsequently being hit past fifty gallons worth of melted marshmallow, screams hysterically] I HATE Yous, VENKMAN!
[the Ecto-1 is getting a police escort to Dana'southward apartment building]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Come up on! Allow's run some cherry-red lights!
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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087332/quotes/qt0475985
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